Your Tiny Problems ARE Valid

I’ve bitched about this before, but I felt the need to bitch about it again.

Not that long ago, I came across a link on Facebook — 10 Habits You Must Quit To Be Happy — and while most of this list is valid (stop procrastinating on your goals, quit talking down to yourself, etc), one of them REALLY cheeses me off.

#7.  Quit running from your problems and fears.

While in theory, this seems like a really good idea, read the first line: “Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back.”

This is bullshit.  I hate that whole philosophy that your problems aren’t as bad as everyone else’s problems.  Who the fuck cares?  So, if you’re being neglected by your parents, then see that someone else is being beaten by their parents, it means you should be grateful?  You have a job that pays $8 an hour but then find someone who makes $7.50 an hour, so you suddenly realize that extra fifty cents is going to make all the difference in the world?  That’s not how it works.

Objectively, you can realize that your problems aren’t the worst in the world, but that doesn’t make it any less your problem.  You can be grateful that your shit isn’t worse, but that doesn’t mean your shit isn’t bad.  Going with the above examples, not being beaten by your parents doesn’t make neglect feel any better.  When your hourly income is $8 an hour, you’re not going to have much more luck paying your bills than the person who makes $7.50.

If you have a legitimate problem (hell, even if your problem is piddly-ass and you know it), it’s okay to feel bad about it.  You can be grateful that your problems don’t suck harder and still feel bogged down by what’s going on in your life.  Just because things could be worse doesn’t mean they aren’t already bad.  You’re allowed to be upset when your world feels like it has turned to shit.

I found an articled on Cracked.com that’s much more helpful than those lists — 5 Reasons Today Isn’t Going To Suck.  Even number 3, which is “It’s Not As Bad As You Think.”  It sounds condescending and dickish until you read it; it mainly says that time gives you perspective.  Which is true, because what seems horrible today you might not even think about tomorrow.

At any rate, your problems count; you may not live in a third world country, you may not have dysentery, or you may have a job, but that doesn’t mean that your problems aren’t real.  Feel bad about stuff that affects you negatively.  You’re allowed to wallow in misery sometimes.  Knowing that shit can be worse only goes so far–your issues are valid, and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.

If you’re one of those people who likes to walk around and tell people that it could be worse, you can go fuck yourself.  You’re a douchebag and you obviously don’t care about the woes of others, which doesn’t make you a good person.  It makes you an asshat.  If you can’t be understanding enough about other people’s shit to at least remain silent instead of spewing forth THAT unattractive thought, then you need to shut yourself away and tell yourself that your life isn’t so bad, and stop telling everyone else that they should be grateful.

Pricks.

 

Also, on a side note, what the hell happened to my little blog yesterday?  I got a fuck ton of traffic–mostly to my rant about Instagram.  It looks like someone somewhere linked it through Facebook, which is awesome.  But not one of you bastards left a comment.  What the fuck’s up with that?

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~ by raspychick on April 19, 2012.

2 Responses to “Your Tiny Problems ARE Valid”

  1. this post is awesome. If baby don’t cry, momma won’t know to feed it. I had this problem in reverse when I worked at my last job. I didn’t make sure people understood how troublesome something was or come out right and take credit for things, the idea of ‘tooting your own horn’ just didn’t sound like a skill I wanted to invest in. I learned the hard way that everything is perception when it comes to any higher ups.

  2. Some people like to compare their problems because in some ways it makes them feel better about themselves, like their cross to bear is much heavier therefore they can claim some sort of highground. Or, they have had a victim status ingrained into their personality and need to feel validated that they are the most victimized person in the room by belittling others’ problems. Or perhaps some people have a “one-up” personality and like to complain a lot.

    I know this isn’t exactly what you were talking about, but seems valid to point out that “me” claiming “you” should calm down because “I” have had it worse, is a fairly common and possibly toxic coping mechanism

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