No, I Do NOT Play Basketball

Know what pisses me off more than most things in my little world?  The fact that I’m discriminated against because I’m tall.  The world isn’t made for tall girls.  At the very least, America isn’t.

I’ve been tall pretty much since the moment I was born.  It runs in the family.  In fact, I’m the shortest one in my family at 5’9″, if you can believe it.  So needless to say, I never gave it a whole lot of thought while growing up.  I know that some people are ostracized because of their height (which is ridiculous–let’s make fun of things that can’t be controlled!  Whee!), but when you live amongst Amazons, it’s not really an issue.

Anyway, I do remember being irritated with having to stand in the back row for class pictures, then being terribly excited when I was allowed to sit down in a couple of them.  In high school, I wasn’t even terribly concerned with standing on the back riser during choir concerts–unless it was the spring concert, all that we did was stand there anyway.

No, my severe irritation with the height issue has been coming to a head much more recently.  And it’s mainly because of theatre.  Because I’m so much taller than most of the people (boys included) in shows, I’m shoved into the back of any ensemble piece.  Not to honk my own horn too loudly, but I’m pretty good at what I do.  As Ivy in “SMASH” said, “I have a pretty good idea of what I bring to the table.”  I’ve never had any dance lessons, but I pick up on dance moves quickly.  People on stage watch ME when they’re not sure what to do.  I have a DVD of one of the shows I was in a couple of years ago, and despite the fact that I’m on the back row, you can see the people in front of me watching my feet.  Just last summer, a castmate said that she hated that I was in the back row because I was so expressive, but it was harder to see me.

See?  I can do some shit.

But because I’m tall, I have to be hidden.  Meanwhile, short people who can’t follow a beat are allowed to be in the front row.  So even though they suck, they’re allowed to be seen but I’m not seen because I’m tall.  Despite what people think about putting people in order of height, a tall person can still be camouflaged by the people in front of her.

At any rate, I wound up auditioning for the local musical this past weekend (yes, I’m a hypocrite, but I also had someone in my ear, doing his damndest to convince me to audition, saying the show needed me, the director–Corbot, of all people–still held me in high regard, blah blah blah…yeah, I fell for it), but on the audition form, I said that I wouldn’t be in the ensemble.  Because I knew that Corbot would see that and just stick me in the back.  No, I wanted a lead or nothing.  I want a lead–I think I’ve earned it.

Corbot disagrees, though, because I am not in this show.  I’m pretty sure I would’ve been “permitted” to perform if I’d agreed to do ensemble, but I just couldn’t handle another show being hidden behind the rest of the cast.  If I’m actually talented, let me fucking shine.   Don’t penalize me because of my height–I can’t control that anymore than a shorty can control not being tall, yet they’re always rewarded for it.

I also figured if I was in the ensemble, Corbot would own my ass, and I don’t want to be beholden to that bitch for anything.

Regardless, there’s a lot of shit tall girls get screwed out of.  Clothing, for one thing.  Try finding pants when you’re tall.  Until very recently, it was no easy feat.  Fortunately, a lot of places are lengthening their pants.  Well, not pants, but jeans.  Actual pants are different.  Long sleeved shirts are a bitch, too.  Most of the time, they’re too short to reach the wrist, but too long to be 3/4 length.  And shoes.  Fuck shoes.  I wear a 12.  Next time you’re in a shoe store, take a gander at the “variety” of size 12 shoes.

And fuck you and your “why don’t you wear men’s shoes” bullshit.  I shouldn’t have to wear men’s shoes because of my foot size.  I can’t control my feet, and I know I’m not the only chick out there with big feet.  Discrimination.

And how many stores do you ever see that cater to tall girls?  Every city you go to has a “Big & Tall” store for men, but are women afforded the same courtesy?  Hell no.  According to my sister, their is such thing as a “Tall Girl” store, but they’re few and far between, and apparently it’s ridiculously expensive.  More discrimination.

There’s not a tall girl around that hasn’t been asked if she plays basketball, either.  Every single time.  I never played on a team, but I was pretty good at it, but my sister (over six feet, I might add) is wildly uncoordinated and far too girly to enjoy sports.  Fuck you, short people–do you work for Willy Wonka?  Bastards.

Plus, tall dudes are hard to find, and they seem to like super short girls, which makes no sense.  What the fuck does a guy who’s 6’6″ need with a girl who’s 5′?  How does that even work?  Something somewhere isn’t going to line up.

But mostly, being shoved into the back of everything because I’m tall is what pisses me off the most.

It’s like it’s unacceptable to be tall.  How many tall chicks do you see in TV or movies?  Go ahead and count–I’ll wait.


Can’t find a whole lot, can you?  That’s because people who produce entertainment think that Americans only want to see a short chick with a tall dude.  This can’t possibly be the case, but it’s pretty dominant in our media.  Kristen Johnston is developing a hunch from trying to make herself look shorter.

PS…Kristen Johnston from “Third Rock From The Sun.”  She’s like 6 feet tall.

Anyway, she’s in this show on TV Land called “The Exes” and you can tell when she’s in a scene with the guys she’s hunching herself over, either to fit in to the frame or because at some point she started to feel self-conscious about her height and thought that slouching would make her look shorter.  Watch the show–there’s a couple of scenes where she’s wearing sleeveless dresses and you can see how bent over she is.  It’s horrible.  She needs to fucking stand tall and fucking own it.

But because the media has convinced everyone that in order to be desirable as a woman, you have to be tiny and qualify for a damsel in distress.

I actually lost a role in a show because I was taller than the guy in the running.  The director fed me some line of bullshit about how the girl who got the role was perfect for it, but…this woman stopped me in the middle of my first audition to tell me that I was fantastic and that she wanted me at callbacks.  No joke–stopped what I was doing and told me I rocked.  At call backs, she kept me around until the very end, reading with various people and such.  You don’t do that unless this person is THE SHIT.  But I was taller than the guy who got the part.  And there’s no possible way a guy would date a girl taller than himself, nor would the audience want to see that nonsense.

It’s fucked up.


~ by raspychick on April 17, 2012.

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