Trout Pout, A Journey: Part One

I’m not entirely sure if this makes me angry or sad–it’s probably a combination of both, really.  But these people who get excessive amounts of cosmetic surgery drive me up, really.  I can’t speak much from everyday encounters (the people ’round here spend money on big TVs, new cars, and fancy double-wides), but these perfectly attractive celebrities who start to nip and tuck, then stick in a couple of new cheeks, blow up their lips and suddenly become Asian…wow.  It’s horrifying.

I’m not ashamed to admit that awfulplasticsurgery.com is one of my favorite websites, at least it was until new management took over (I think they’re still trying to get on their feet).  I’d say it’s a guilty pleasure, but I feel no guilt.

I was going to make this one big post, but I think this will be best in several installments.  For one reason, it just feels like it takes forever and I don’t have that kind of patience.  But for another, as I’m doing this, I realize these people are falling into several different categories, this first entry being people I don’t particularly care about, but have had horrifying things done to their faces.

I’ve collected a random sampling of some of the most extreme examples, particularly of people I care about in some fashion, though a couple of them are people who have simply had horrible surgery, as well as quite a few horrific pictures to go along with it.  Enjoy the ride.

I’m going to start with Tori Amos.  I’ve never been a fan of hers, though I’ve never disliked her, either.  She’s more of a non-entity in my little world, even though I’ve heard some of her music and know of her existence.  But I came across this strange before an after picture of her at some point and…ugh.  Take a look.

Here she is before.  Perhaps not conventionally attractive, but cute enough, right?

Look what happened after:

HoLEE Shit.  She went from human to elfin.  What the hell?  And she looks so happy, as if this was her intended outcome.  Maybe it was, but day-um.  I believe that ears like that indicate a face lift and hoo-boy, was it lifted.  I just wonder why on earth she decided to go for this.

But, as I said…no real emotional investment in Tori, so while it’s a scary change, I can’t bring myself to care as much as I do about others.  So, on to the next!

Sarah Jessica Parker.  Old horse-face.

Sorry--couldn't resist.

I had no qualms about her years ago–when I first saw her in Girls Just Want To Have Fun, I actually quite enjoyed her.  Even in Hocus Pocus and First Wives Club (especially Hocus Pocus, because that movie entertains the crap out of me).  But watching Sex & The City progress, and how she progressed along with it…yikes.  She’s psycho–she seems to think she’s actually Carrie Bradshaw.  Apparently, according to several people I know, she won’t let anyone near her husband if he’s spotted out in public.  Whatsa matter, SJ?  Afraid he’ll have a sniff of freedom?  But I digress…I’ll save my complete disgust of SJ for another day.  Right now, I just want to talk about her scary face transformation.

She started out something like this

Not horribly attractive perhaps, but cute enough.  Full face, eyes…all that stuff.  Somehow, though, she’s become this

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Those eyes don’t happen by accident. Average white-girl eyes do not suddenly begin to tilt upward.  And the nose that used to fit with her face suddenly looks like Jimmy Durante.

This

Does not become this

without a LOT of work, and not in the positive way.

Though, apparently, she’s always had the same approach to “modeling” (apparently, SJP thinks she’s some sort of model), before and after surgery.  Note the look in her eyes in both pictures that seem to proclaim that they will somehow feed upon your soul.

I actually freaked out the first time I saw this picture.  And I freak out each time after.

I wonder if SJP realizes the horse-face comments didn’t start until she started pulling the skin so tight across her face that she looks like Skeletor.  Or did she get a chin implant?  Sheesh.

One more for the road…

Moving right along.

Next, we have Daryl Hannah.  You would be surprised at how fucking hard it is to find a picture of this woman before she had plastic surgery.  I know she did movies before this; you wouldn’t know it according to Google, though.  But here we go.

Cute

Pretty

What in the name of all that is unholy happened to her face?  Holy christ, what did she do?!  What compelled this attractive woman to decide this would be a super idea?!  What went wrong?  I hope she’s seeking legal recourse because Dayum.  That’s fucked up.

Here she is in Splash

And here’s something I found online

This poor, poor girl.  Seriously.  I’ve never been a huge fan of Daryl Hannah, but it makes me unbelievably sad that she decided going under the knife in this manner was the only way to go.

Let’s talk for a moment about Rose McGowan.

This is what she used to look like:

Nice, right?  Not my cup of tea, but objectively, she was cute.  I never followed her career, but a few years ago, she showed up on Nip/Tuck and fuckmewow….

What the hell, Rose?!  What.  The.  Hell.

I saw her on SVU last year and nearly crapped myself.  It was unbelievably horrifying.  I can’t even imagine why.

I think this came across a bit more mean spirited than I intended, though that really wasn’t the purpose.  But some of the work these women have had…they need someone to point it out to them.

Please stay tuned for part 2; People I Actually Give A Damn About.

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~ by raspychick on March 15, 2012.

2 Responses to “Trout Pout, A Journey: Part One”

  1. […] On the first leg of the journey, we talked about people with horrible plastic surgery, but people to whom I either didn’t have deep attachments, or surgery that, while sad, are just sad in general.  This next level is a bit closer to my heart. […]

  2. […] you’re new here, we’ve covered a few other people in part one and part two, but hold on to your asses, because some of this is just sad and a little […]

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