A Womb Of My Own

I find it interesting the number of people who like to assure me that, despite what I say and how I feel, one day I will want to be married and have children.  People are POSITIVE about this.  For years, any time anyone has asked me about either topic, I always say that it’s not for me.  Of course, then I do something stupid like be good with children.  This seems to confirm to people that I secretly want children, I just haven’t found the right guy yet.

Not so much.  I just don’t want kids or to be married.  Is this a crime?

I think kids are great; since I’m basically an overgrown child, I usually get along with the younger set. This leads people to believe that I would be good to kids of my own.  I feel this is not so. I grew up in a fucked up enough environment to not wish that bullshit on anyone, never mind my own progeny.  Plus, I’m smart enough to know how selfish I am; I don’t want to dedicate my life or money or whatever to another human being.  I like to spend my money on what I want to spend it on, not on new clothes or toys for my kid.  But at least I realize this.

And yet, people are insistent that my time will come.  Fuck, man, I don’t want to have to share my space with someone.  I like having a bed to myself (not counting the cats and dog), I like not having to answer to someone, or not cut my day short because I have some dude waiting for me at home, or feeling obligated to call someone every 30 minutes to see what someone is doing (those people need to be hit).

These aren’t all people of an older generation, either, who were ingrained with the marriage and babies thing; this also comes from people my age, people who have never spent a moment on their own (those chronic relationshippers, the ones who think being single for 8 months one time means something and that they’ve jumped from person to person for the last 15 years can be negated by said 8 months…I know these people, too) and who think that because they’re married/have kids/whatever, that I should, too.

I have a friend who had a baby last summer (the cutest damn kid ever, too); second marriage, never mentioned anything about me needing to get married, etc, and I’ll be damned if halfway through her pregnancy that she didn’t say that she’d like to see me with a baby bump.  What the hell?  I’m supposed to crank one out now?  Someone else is doing it so I have to, too?  Shit no!

I will say, the idea of being pregnant absolutely fascinates me, and I would totally be down with surrogacy, if someone needed help with that.

Anyway, I’m not knocking the people who have decided to have kids or get married, but for the love of shit, if I respect your decision to do those things, respect my decision to NOT do those things, and stop telling me that this mindset of mine is just going to magically change because you think you know better than I.

Fuck.

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~ by raspychick on January 5, 2012.

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